Lactating Coconuts

After spending way too much time studying in the library, this evening called for an adventure. A thrilling adventure. A daring and devious adventure! But I couldn't think of any, so instead I went to the grocery store and bought dairy-free ice cream. /anticlimax

A lot of you have been recommending different brands of faux-milk products, and I figured it was time to give one a try. I went out in search of a pint of coconut ice cream, hoping its pretty label with pictures of cookie dough chunks would not betray me. It cost seven dollars, which is mildly insane... but I justified the purchase by telling myself, "You just have to enjoy it as much as you'd enjoy paying to see some Ashton Kutcher movie in theaters." This calmed me down, because the only way I'd like coconut milk less than Ashton Kutcher movies is if coconut milk gave me anaphylactic shock whilst punching my mother.*

So I tried it. Not horrible. The consistency is much softer than real ice cream-- I had to fight off the temptation to eat the first layer super fast, because unlike with the real deal, the second layer was no less melty-- but all in all, if I hadn't seen the packaging, I might not have known the difference. It didn't seem so much like fake ice cream... just slightly crappy ice cream. Also, in hindsight, the fact that it tasted like coconut should have surprised me less. I don't have any huge issue with coconuts or anything, but I've never been enough of a fan to waste a few hundred calories on their artificial lactation. For seven dollars, I dug out all the cookie dough chunks, popped the lid back on, and called it a day. If anyone's in need of some mangled coconut teat puss**, it's all yours.

Other than that, today was quite delicious. Breakfast was orange juice and two pieces of wheat toast; one with peanut butter, one with peach preserves. Lunch was green tea and a few pieces of vegetarian sushi. I had a small afternoon snack of hummus and Sun Chips, realizing early on that hummus and Sun Chips go poorly together, but continuing nonetheless, because I am a fighter. For dinner, I waited in line for my dining hall's wok bar, of which you can see pictures here, here, and here. It was tasty, but I only got through about a fourth of the dish before feeling utterly stuffed. Then came a few spoonfuls of the icey coconut concoction, and (much later in the evening) my friends were going to Chipotle... and I have what Freud calls Burrito Envy... so I tagged along and gorged on chips and salsa as a nighttime snack. Yummmmtastic.

I got yelled at in yesterday's comments for not divulging a list of everything I ate, so I'm making up for it with this totally food-centered post. Now that we're all balanced out, The Hayleylujah Chorus will be back to regular programming tomorrow night. I hope you all have a lovely day, and I'll see you then!

Chipotle burritos this year: 5ish
Subscribers: 48,499
Nail color: "Samoan Sand," OPI
Miles run today: How could you expect me to work out when I had so much eating to do?

*I do not like Ashton Kutcher movies.
**Yes, that was both stupid and gross, but it amused me, so lay off.