Ten Billion Readers!

Hello, lovely readers, and welcome to the fifth day of April. I would make some reference to BEDA being a sixth of the way done, but a) that implies that this challenge is a nuisance, when in actuality I love having the incentive to write daily, and b) I'm only fairly confident that thirty, divided by five, is six. Well-roundedness!

In news unrelated to my inability to count past ten, I'm thrilled that you guys got to take a Magic School Bus* roadtrip into the mind of The Situation yesterday. Perhaps now that you've seen how thoughtful and amusing he is, my "zomg my boyfriend is so awesome" gush-fests will come across as less nauseating. What a brilliant and genuine person! I could not be more grateful to have him, even if he were made of guacamole and phoenix feathers.

Still, I'm sorry for taking a day off early in the game; I was so completely taken aback by the response to my previous post that I needed a day to recuperate. I've been using every spare minute to read through comments, and I'm still nowhere near finished. Each time I refresh the page, more surveys come in. Right now, there are 582... but at the rate you fantastic people are typing, there could be ten billion comments by tomorrow night. That's right. Ten billion. I have more funny and interesting contacts than there are citizens of Earth.

Eh hem. Anyway, please believe me as much as you can after such sugar-fueled hyperbole as "I AM IN LOVE WITH TEN BILLION PEOPLE"-- It has been incredibly touching to read your comments**. Keshara, how did you manage to break your arms seven times? Abby, how are you managing to find time to read my dribble while you're in med school? Ellery, how have you managed to never eat Taco Bell?! Just... wow. You are all so interesting and sincerely appreciated.

One quick note, however. While the vast, vast majority of commenters who responded to my little "List several reasons why I'm cooler than Kristina Horner" joke were either very flattering to both Kristina and myself, or as equally silly ("You've eaten more Chipotle this year!"), there were a few sort of irresponsible comments that need to be addressed. Kristina and I maintain a playful, fictional rivalry because we have similar talents and interests, and because we're very good friends. Naturally, when you're frequently competing (on a public platform) against someone you both highly respect and want to be more like, comparisons are going to be drawn between the two of you. But, unlike with celebrities and politicians, we're totally average people who spend way too much time online, and our totally average feelings can still be hurt, despite the thicker skin we've grown from subjecting ourselves to criticism for a living. I'm not scolding you, because you guys are smart and kind, and were not intending to offend anyone. But please-- our jabs at each other are all in good fun, and it does not flatter me in the slightest to see myself ranked against my friend, even when I come out on top. I adore Kristina for the same reasons that you all do, with the added bonus of knowing her non-internet personality. She is a beautiful person and wonderful friend, and I apologize if I don't make my respect for her clear enough.

In other news, some of the black ink stars I was drawing on my skin last night are still visible, so I'm going to go hop awkwardly in the shower, whilst scrubbing at my left foot. Once again, thank you for caring enough to read this blog-- you make me feel like my dream of writing professionally could come true. I'll see you tomorrow!

Chipotle burritos this year: 13
Nail color: "Plum's the Word," Sally Hansen Salon
Subscribers: 26,570

*What kind of school has, like, eight students in a class? And where are these kids' PARENTS? I wonder how many lawsuits were filed against Miss Frizzle after the whole "Let's go inside the redhead" debacle.
**Especially you, Nicole. I've never endured anything in my life that could compare to beating cancer. You are amazing.