Sextastic Disney Kids and John Green

Is there something in the water making all the wholesome young TV stars sing about the sex we don't like to imagine them having? I found out the other day (much later than everyone else did, according to Jess and Lor) that the guy who played Jimmy on Degrassi is a fairly well-known rapper. Like, this guy is the same person as this guy. Okay, I don't know what it means to make one's lady parts, uh, "whistle," but I don't like the sound of it, and I like the idea of Jimmy Brooks causing it a lot less. 

Hilary Duff and Vanessa Hudgens also need to clam down. I don't want to know about Lizzie McGuire's sexual deviancy or see a sexy silhouette of Gabriella Montez. And Hayden Panettiere? Somebody pour a bucket of cold water on that girl's head, because she's making me more uncomfortable than Ashley Tisdale, and that's saying something. I'd prefer if the music videos of Disney Channel stars didn't end with passionate, guttural moans. But that's just me.

I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of ultraconservative schoolmarm. Lady Gaga can do with disco sticks whatever she pleases in her chrome space goggles. I'm no Laura Mallory, and I understand that television corporations don't necessarily own the souls of their stars for all of eternity... but I'm just a little creeped out when they all appear to be trading in their sequins for stilletos. Rather than another handful of Lindsay Lohan disasters, let's hope for a couple more DJ Tanners that fall off the face of the earth once they outgrow their cuteness. (Oh, and Lindsay? If you want people to "back up off you," you should probably stop dancing in a cage.)

Unexpected rant over. Sorry, guys; no idea where that came from. In other news, I'm in John Green's BlogTV room... mostly for the ego boost. "And THAT'S why I love Hayley," he just said, as if on cue. (I will not admit to blushing.) Anyway, John's talking about love and relationships, which is really one of his most amusing recurring topics. "I know there aren't a lot of hot 107-year-olds, but Edward Cullen, you really shouldn't be banging eighteen-year-old chicks!" says John. I don't really know how I feel about that statement. On one hand, it's incredibly true. On the other hand, I don't like the sound of John saying "banging chicks."

Sexy: What John's currently saying about high school. "It doesn't have to be puppies and lollipops all the time. You just have to get through it. And when it's over, you can be free and go do something else."

Unsexy: How much I miss the other awesomegirls. I had quick conversations with Kayley and Lauren today, and I already feel the absence of Kristina, who's in England and therefore unable to text me. Liane and I haven't talked in forever. I just wish all my friends, like... lived here.

Chipotle burritos this year: 24

S'mores this summer: 6

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Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3