Chickpeas and Testicles

"Everyone's daily posts have gone to shit by this point so you can probably get away with whatever you want." -Mike Lombardo, philosopher

Well, it's April 10th, and we've finally reached that point in BEDA where I stare at a flashing cursor and realize I have nothing to say. But I'm not going to complain, because there's nothing worse than that girl who bitches about the fact that strangers laugh at her jokes and care about her lunch.* Instead, I will provide for you (aren't you fortunate?) a list of unrelated thoughts I'm having tonight.

1. Hummus tastes good but chickpeas do not. This doesn't seem to add up.
   
2. This afternoon, I ran four miles in 83-degree heat. People usually laugh when I call myself a badass, but guys-- I'm a badass. I'm basically Lance Armstrong.**
3. Out of curiosity, I browsed my town's Craigslist tonight. I don't think 50-year-old men in my area have a very good understanding of the term "strictly platonic." I am now experiencing what is commonly referred to as being "skeeved out," and I shall forever be on my guard when I pass adult men in the grocery store.
4. I have a ton of homework due this week, but I don't have to turn most of it in until Tuesday or Wednesday. Naturally, I've chosen to start it all tomorrow night.
   
5. This afternoon's sunshine was heavenly. The ghostly lines on my legs where my shorts stopped? Less heavenly, but at least hilarious.
   

Now wasn't that fun? And educational! On that note, I'm gonna go shower my nasty self. Hopefully I'll have something more interesting to share in tomorrow's post... and hopefully, tomorrow, I won't be sweaty and disgusting. Do me a favor and have lovely night. A demain!


Chipotle burritos this year: 5
Subscribers: 48,468
Nail color: "Samoan Sand," OPI
Miles run today: 4

*This sentence is an example of a literary device called "hyperbole." Some examples of things worse than my complaining about having to write a blog: war, torture, genocide, poverty, starvation, inescapable caste systems, disease, grief, loneliness, loss of limb, explaining the definition of "hyperbole" to people old enough to read internet blogs.
**I, too, am missing a testicle.***
***Two of them.