She's so hot, she's making me sexist.

The title has nothing to do with this post. It was literally the first irrelevant sentence that came to mind.

Anyway! So now you've met Jess. The funny thing about her (well, besides EVERYTHING; her natural hilarity makes my best efforts look bad) is that, when she asks how you're doing, or what you've eaten recently, she's asking because she genuinely cares. You know how some people make it totally apparent that they're only asking you questions so they have time to think about what they're going to say in response? My best friend has such a pure and kind soul that she just honestly cares. I normally suppress my urges to devote this entire blog to the adoration of Jess, so I'll spare you from here on. But. I am wholeheartedly grateful for the opportunity to have someone so vivacious and compassionate in my life, and I'm glad you got to have the tiniest glimpse of her in yesterday's I'm-too-busy-hanging-out-with-my-boyfriend-to-write-anything post.

Speaking of The Situation, I had a wonderful weekend. Without exaggeration, his hometown is the one of the most adorable places I've ever been. Dark green grass, rolling hills, grayish sky, little shops and nonfranchised restaurants, rows of pretty houses in muted colors. His house is just as lovely and inviting as his mother, who made cinnamon rolls in the morning and put fresh flowers in a vase next to my bed. Oh my goodness, and she is beautiful. It's almost laughable how attractive their family is. If this were 2008 and I had less respect for myself, I would make Twilight comparisons.

On top of that, his dad is friendly (and handsome), and he made me laugh more than once... and The Situation's sister is just plain awesome. She puts hot sauce on Ramen noodles and makes fun of her brother and is incredibly amusing in the Ginny Weasley way. I'm still half expecting to wake up from Dreamland and realize that the past three days didn't happen, and that there is no perfect man with a cute family in a cute town who's somehow in love with me. I am far too lucky and did nothing to deserve such a beautiful life.

On that note, I'm caught awkwardly between Exhaustion Township and Homeworksville, where people labor their way through essays, sprinkling unnecessary adverbs haphazardly, in the hopes of filling enough space, and where they make nonsensical jokes, like pretending Exhaustion is a proper noun. So before I can bring up any more parts of speech, I'm going to leave you. Until tomorrow, readers!

Chipotle burritos this year: 13
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Nail color: "Green with Envy," ORLY