"That doesn't make any sense," I say. "Nobody's going to think it's funny."
"Yes they will," Jess informs me. "They love me. I have a beautiful and adoring audience. Write this in your blog...
"One day, I came home from school. Jess was a magical unicorn master. She showed me the challenge for eating powdered doughnuts in three minutes, as thus was pertained by* Christopher "Big Black" Boykin. Thusses, (that's t-h-u-s-s-e-s), I refused her challenge, but raised her one, with a jar of pretzels and a quadrangle of homemade cookies that my mom won in an auction. On Degrassi that day, um, the, um, mystical chocolate factory diva salad was real. It just got real. And the uniforms were covered in sequins. The end. That's all I've got."
So, uh. That's my best friend, trying to be as weird and nonsensical as possible. She's sitting next to me right now, as we have an unofficial cookie-eating contest, and she continues to dictate stupid paragraphs, which I'm promptly ignoring and not transcribing into this post. "You're embarrassed of me!" she says. "You don't want your blog readers to think I'm crazy, you don't like when I call your boyfriend and ask him what he had to eat today...."
So, readers, to prove my undying loyalty, I ask you: do you think my best friend is crazy? And what have you eaten today?
Chipotle burritos this year: 14
Subscribers: 27,157
Nail color: "Green with Envy," ORLY
*She understands that this means nothing.
P.S. The big secret I alluded to last night has been revealed all over twitter, so I can now proudly announce that two of my favorite people, Lauren Fairweather and Matt Maggiacomo, are finally engaged! Send your congratulatory tweets here and here; they deserve it.
Yes. I do think your best friend is crazy.
ReplyDeleteBut, is it okay if I don't mind?
Yep. She's crazy.
ReplyDeleteBut in a good way!
And she's right...I did think that was funny.
...I think. It's so nonsensical I don't know how I feel about it, really.
Haha.
Aaaand what have I eaten today? Um...pizza. Like lots of pizza.
whoa really? engaged?
ReplyDeletebut they're so young!
but they're so in love :)
Your friend seems rather fun, actually. :]
ReplyDeleteShe's not crazy, just wonderfully... creative.
ReplyDeleteToday I ate:
One banana
One soy hot chocolate (or drank, rather)
Two bowls of cereal
Homemade french fries
Apple pie
... and that's all I can think of.
she's crazy, but i'm sure that's why you love her!
ReplyDeletetoday, i ate hotcakes and sausage and an entire chipotle burrito, i feel like a champion
HAHA Jess isnt crazy...well maybe a little. I am jealous of your friendship!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd i never knew Lauren had a lover. Aww go her!
Crazy may not be the opportune word...just a little, er, different. :)
ReplyDeleteI have eaten lots, mostly food that's terrible for me. Chicken sandwich from Wendy's, Pizza Hut pizza, and some cereal. Yeppers.
I did not even realize that Lauren had a boyfriend, but perhaps I'm out of the loop. Still, yay! How exciting!
Yes she is crazy but in a good way.... (that's what people say to me to be nice)
ReplyDeleteand what did i eat today... well i made meatloaf but it was not loafy.. bummer
1. Jess is an amazing kind of crazy. :)
ReplyDelete2. 3 hotdogs and some mac-and-cheese. (I know, healthy right? Yeah. I realize it's not. *sigh*)
Do I think she's crazy? From the sounds of it, yes. But I also consider myself and a majority of my friends crazy. In fact, I think having a little bit of craziness in life is important!
ReplyDeleteI had some Mexican candy today. that's really the only thing interesting. Tamarind and chili flavor. I wasn't a huge fan of the chili in candy the first time I tried it, but it's grown on me.
Your best friend is the best kind of crazy. Best friends usually are.
ReplyDeleteAnd today I ate pizza. Lots of pizza. And some hash browns. God, I'm healthy.
Don't worry, Hayley. She's just as sane as I am.
ReplyDeleteToday I ate:
-2 Cadbury eggs
-A bunch of these pistachio crisp things
-a frozen lasagna meal thing from work
-a piece of bread
-a granola bar
-water
-lots of Arizona green tea
-a burrito
-pretzels
-ritz crackers with cheese
Yes, she is a good crazy but I think both you and I know you wouldn't have it any other way.
ReplyDeleteWhat I Ate Today
1.Strawberry yogurt and grapes
2.McD' hamburger and fries(I try to avoid this as much as possible so it only makes sense you would ask this question on the day I falter)
3.Subway footlong turkey sub with veggies.
Kristen:Subway::Hayley:Chipotle
....that should say it all.
Have a great rest to your weekend Hayley and Jess!!
Today I ate two bites of cold pizza for breakfast, some rice at a friends (I'm a vegetarian and that was I could eat from the takeout they ordered), and penne alfredo, and a sprinkles cupcake. *nom nom nom*
ReplyDeleteOf course she is crazy, Hayley, but why on earth should that mean that she is not awesome?
ReplyDeleteAnd I have eaten... Cinnamon toast crunch, string cheese, steak, and garlic fries. And some Malley's chocolate, because Malley's is so delicious!
Crazy friends are the ONLY kinds of friends =D
ReplyDeleteI ate:
french toast
some energy bar thing
MEATLESS TACOS <3
a hot pocket
1 chocolate chip cookie
I ate black bean soup, goldfish and bagels. What Jess said made PERFECT sense to me (say "hi" to her unicorn for me!)
ReplyDeleteWhat best friend ISN'T crazy?
ReplyDeleteI ate:
soup
another kind of soup
brownie
licorice
bread
uhm...
She is the right amount of crazy. The perfect balance, I would say.
ReplyDeleteLike many of the other people hanging out in your comments, I had pizza for dinner. And there was a lovely chicken salad sandwich for brunch.
Every single person who has commented on this blog called me crazy, and they all think I'm your spunky TV best friend! Ugh so over my adoring fanbase.
ReplyDelete@jessmcfadden Normal is boring! I'd rather be crazy.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThat paragraph sounds like something my best friend and I wrote when we decided to write a story together on aim a few years ago so yes, I think she is crazy xD
ReplyDeleteand I ate pizza and wings from Papa John's. I ordered pizza for lunch then my sister came home and asked to order pizza so we got it again for dinner. I am now sick of pizza.
Haha, as I was reading your question "Do you think my best friend is crazy?" my mom said "She's crazy." So I guess she's crazy, but in the best possible way.
ReplyDeleteAnd today I ate toast, hot dogs, rice, roti, curry goat, an apple, and cake.
I think your best friend is delightfully quirky and charming.
ReplyDeleteI ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich, some macaroni and cheese and two caramel rolls. (Slept right through breakfast, heh.)
She's wonderfully crazy. =].
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't quite remember what I ate... hm.
yes, she is crazy- but in the best possible way.
ReplyDeletealso. i ate chocolate, and fries and a baked potato. . . soooo healthy, i know. but to make up for it i ate an entire bag (7 servings) of snap peas.
Yep, she's "entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
ReplyDeleteAlice and wonderland <333
Your best friend reminds me a lot of my best friend. <333. haha.
ReplyDeleteSo what did i eat today?
I had a chicken bowl from Chipolte's and some home made cookies.
healthy, i know.
Oh, I think Jess is completley crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Who on Earth would like to be normal? At the end of the day, we have, like, 80 years of life, and I know for a fact that I will not be spending mine being "normal", and "fitting in". I will spend my time being loud, singing, dancing and having fun. So Jess, I commend you.
ReplyDeleteToday has only just started, so I'll tell you what I had yesterday, instead.
-French Toast
-Four Grapes
-A Tuna sandwich
-A chocolate chip cookie
-Chinese styled pork noodles.
Have a good day!
Ben
Yes, I believe she might be crazy. She's a keeper. I have only eaten toast today, since I just woke up. I mean, come on, it's only 12.48 pm.
ReplyDeleteI love crazy.
ReplyDeleteLeft ovet burgers.
I'm reading Sloppy Firsts AGAIN (I didn't intend to, I swear, but it was just so pretty.)
Yes, she's crazy, but in the best possible way. Also, I haven't eaten ANYTHING today. I know, it shocks me, too!
ReplyDeleteI suppose she's a bit crazy, but then again, all the best people are.
ReplyDeleteI should have eaten cake today, someone stole it from me thought.
Isn't it annoying how people always eat you cake?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJess is great! I think we should all I have little mini-Jess to get out when we're bored or upset, I'm sure it would cheer us up! And, I ate fish and chips today, as I am an English stereotype.
ReplyDeleteI'm dead happy for Lauren and Matt!
Yes, I do think she's crazy. But... I also ask my best friend's boyfriend similar questions. :P Jess is great. We love her nonsensical stories.
ReplyDeleteI ate cheerios and a bagel today. In that order.
I'm ECSTATIC ABOUT LAUREN AND MATT!
all the best people are... ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, in a good way, and I've eaten an english muffin, cheese eggs, and a burrito.
ReplyDeleteOMGAWSH, yay!!! I knew it!!! Ok, no I didn't :3 I'm so happy!!! Matt and Lauren are perfect together.
ReplyDeleteNow to you and Jess: best friends were created with the purpose of nonsense. Me and my best friend once wrote a short story in which Merlin and Arthur have a long dialogue regarding shapeshifting and in the end Merlin flaps his ears and flies away. We're awesome like that.
Today I ate a sandwich, lamb, cookies, another sandwich, and a chocolate dissert. xD oh wow.
That was one of the best stories ever!
ReplyDeleteToday I ate Special K, Chinese food and ice cream.
First off, thank you for making all of this past week's blogposts relatively short. I just got back from vacation and I didn't have that much time t o spend on catching up. BUt I was able to, so yay!
ReplyDeleteYour link to the iPad as something funny made me laugh. A lot.
And yes, Jess is crazy. She seems awesome though.
Sorry for this extremely badly phrased comment!
Goodnight! <3
she's not crazy, she's brilliant! jess seems amazing haha.
ReplyDeleteShe is crazy, but all the best people are.
ReplyDeletePizza, ranch dressing, cake, home made bread, chicken, assorted cookies, mac and cheese, a barbecue sandwich, other stuff I've forgotten. (We had a potluck after church.)
So excited for Matt and Lauren! They're completely adorable.
A good kind of crazy :)
ReplyDeleteyes, you're best friend is crazy, but all the best people are! And I have eaten a pancake with a lot of syrup, and a cup of English Breakfast :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha...oh man...I guess we're all a little crazy? lol. And i had a salad and a slurpee for lunch! A very non-healthy delicious salad!
ReplyDeleteYeah, your best friend is crazy, but so are all of mine. I don't think I could have a best friend who wasn't.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am SOOO excited for Matt and Lauren!! See how much better the world is now that Harry Potter exists and causes awesome things like this?
Yes and Nilla wafers in cream cheese frosting.
ReplyDeleteI think the HGHResponds video has already answered that first question.
ReplyDelete-I've had half of a blueberry bagel today. It was good.(which may go without saying)
-Phillip
I LOVE CRAZYY :)
ReplyDelete