Internet relationships and things that are[n't] sexy

Let's talk about sex, baby.

No, let's really not. But let's talk about meeting boys over the internet.

There was a time-- probably about two years ago, to be honest-- when I would have LOL'd in the faces of people who believed you could fall in love with someone without ever being in the same room as them. The idea of making relationships online was a fairly new concept to me. I was still too scared to give my close livejournal friend my phone number. The Harry Potter fandom, although I desperately longed to be a part of it, went over my head. And the thought of being involved with someone in another state or even another country? Seriously. You cannot even know someone you met on the internet.

And then I fell deeply, hopelessly in love with someone I met on the internet.

There's something about the thrill of a good taboo. You can watch your video responses; that's cool. But you can't make out with them. (What's "them?" The video response itself, or the person responding? Ambiguity is hilarious!) But yeah, the very fact that it's weird is often enough incentive to try it out. And I'm big on weird.

Siiiiiiigh. Yeah, there was no point to this other than that I'm premenstrual and crazy and whiny and miss my exboyfriend.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Here's a spontaneous list.

Things that are sexy:

--Jason Mraz, past, present and future.

--Spring Awakening.... (That wasn't an iffy ellipsis; think of it like lots of periods to show how very serious I am.)

--Nerd boys! Especially with thick-framed glasses.

--Dr. Cox and Jordan. Scrubssss.

--Oh, and (I think I just like embarrassing myself?) this, too.

--Guhhhh. Slap me across the face, but... Twilight.

--Um... and, um... this.

--BO BURNHAM. (boburnham)

--Johnny Depp in every role he's ever played.

--Moulin flipping Rouge.

--The Notebook. Cliche, but come on.

--I'm going to say it. People are going to flip out on me, but I'm going to say it. SMOKING.

--Happily married famous couples.

--"As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked.

--"As Long As You're Mine" performed by a happily married  famous couple.

--Brad Paisley, who's also half of a happily married famous couple.

--Pam and Jim from The Office.

--Guys who play World of Warcraft. I don't. Don't know anything about it. But it's hot.

--YouTubers.

Things that are not sexy:

--Porn.

--Paris Hilton. Particularly, Paris Hilton in porn.

--Orlando Bloom. Ever, really.

--Nearly every tramp stamp.

--White athletic shoes.

--Boy hair products of any kind. Even, like, conditioner.

--Axe body spray. Or at least I've yet to smell it done well.

--Shirts that don't fit.

--People who eat reasonable portions.

--Football. Just does nothing for me.

I think I'll add more un/sexy things to future blogs when they come to mind, a la communitychannel's ugly- and attractive-word-of-the-video. If anyone's reading this, what unconventional things turn you on? What conventional things turn you off?

Ummmmmm this blog has no continuity whatsoever and is kind of frightening. Oh well! See you tomorrow. 14,642 subscribers.