tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post6062436695511265759..comments2024-03-19T02:49:58.707-04:00Comments on The Hayleylujah Chorus: Real LifeHayley Hooverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291471465474995679noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-79398933763200829082010-08-17T00:46:05.568-04:002010-08-17T00:46:05.568-04:00In Paper Towns, John wrote:
"Did you know th...In Paper Towns, John wrote:<br /><br />"Did you know that for pretty much the entire history of the human species, the average life span was less than thirty years? You could count on ten years or so of real adulthood, right? There was no planning for retirement, There was no planning for a career. There was no planning. No time for plannning. No time for a future. But then the life spans started getting longer, and people started having more and more future. And now life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future--you go to high school so you can go to college so you can get a good job so you can get a nice house so you can afford to send your kids to college so they can get a good job so they can get a nice house so they can afford to send their kids to college."Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11520264937363454970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-38077355813107945812010-08-16T21:17:40.279-04:002010-08-16T21:17:40.279-04:00I'm a little late in reading this but I'll...I'm a little late in reading this but I'll give this advice thing a shot...<br /><br />I'm only a couple years older than yourself, so I don't really know much more but I can tell you that your outlook is completely normal. We are told that we should expect life to go to crap once we "grow up," so we all just get used to the idea, I guess.<br />I just graduated from college but I'm nowhere prepared, both intellectually and emotionally, to start my "life's career." It's back to school for me to get my Master's degree. <br />I still don't see myself as a complete adult, but more as an inbetweener...I have a lot of responsibility but I don't quite have to pay the utility bills yet (if that analogy made any sense).<br />All I can tell you is to just enjoy life, enjoy college, and prepare yourself for life after...but don't put undue stress on yourself yet. I've found that stressing yourself out just makes everything worse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-83440946173130516382010-08-16T21:00:59.233-04:002010-08-16T21:00:59.233-04:00Wayyy to make me even more stressed about life. Ev...Wayyy to make me even more stressed about life. Even though I'm only 16. *sigh* <br /><br />:PAlex Dahlberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17661153817754923128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-11570774442521693472010-08-16T20:19:01.549-04:002010-08-16T20:19:01.549-04:00Wow, my first-ever comment on your blog. I just wa...Wow, my first-ever comment on your blog. I just wanted to quickly say that it's perfectly normal to freak out and have all these "what ifs" going through your head. However, to be totally cliched: life is a journey, not a destination. We really can't predict what our lives will turn out to be, but the important thing is that we enjoy as much of it as we can and not take anything too seriously. <br /><br />I'm 24, happily married, and am just seeing what each new day brings. <br /><br />Try not to feel pressured by leaving behind your teenage years, and just see your future as the blank canvas that it is. The great thing about your future is...each day, you have the chance to start anew, do something different, or change your mind. It doesn't have to be a big, scary, looming shadow monster. Take it a day at a time, focus on your passions and how good it feels to accomplish each new goal you set for yourself, and you'll see that everything somehow falls into place. <br /><br />I'm a big believer in the power of positive thinking and living in the Now moment. Visualize what you want for yourself (ever-changing as it will be through the course of your life), and choose to do and look at what makes you feel happy. Follow your bliss and you can't go wrong.<br /><br />Good luck, and I just have to say, I love your blog.Breehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08754352534409908339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-46659420256983458312010-08-16T19:31:10.576-04:002010-08-16T19:31:10.576-04:00Oh, Hayley. Wish I could be helpful - but I think ...Oh, Hayley. Wish I could be helpful - but I think this every day. I just turned 26 for crying out loud, & I'm none of the things I thought I would be. I'm not married, I'm not a mother, I don't have a job I love. In fact, I'm JUST now dating, I'm eons away from kids, I just quit my brand new job because I hated it... & I'm terrified of my life. I try to remember, every day, that I have a family who loves me & will support me & catch me & help me... but I want to be a real adult. When does that happen? Does it ever happen? Will it happen when I'm not looking?<br /><br />Good luck. I hope you find your way happily through your twenties!Suburban Sweethearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03014426590429844380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-7928558504412113672010-08-16T19:11:33.430-04:002010-08-16T19:11:33.430-04:00I recently turned 19, i wasn´t gonna post a commen...I recently turned 19, i wasn´t gonna post a comment ´cause i thought "what can i say to her?" but then i realized that i really understand what you´re saying, i have been feeling like that ever since i turned 18 because everyone told me "you are an adult now, behave like one" (legal age is 18 in my country).<br /><br />I guess what i´m trying to say is that no matter how scary life seems, i think is just as bad as you let it be, i mean, life is such a roller coaster, just a year ago i was really scared of living alone, terrified of college and excited because i was going to study my "dream" career, now i love living alone, bored with college and recently realized that my "dream" career isn´t the one i picked, but that i have to finish this career because i can´t find a job with what i love doing, so i restructured my life and now have a goal and it may require amazing sacrifice, but that´s life: to get what you want, you gotta work hard.<br /><br />Love and Happiness to youMartín Danielanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-83001117035221203342010-08-16T01:30:35.366-04:002010-08-16T01:30:35.366-04:00My best advice would be to throw away everything y...My best advice would be to throw away everything you think about being an adult and just be you, always, at every age. Oh, and be kind to people, everyone's just finding their own way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-31402049984889064032010-08-15T22:58:42.587-04:002010-08-15T22:58:42.587-04:00Just be glad that you're good at something. So...Just be glad that you're good at something. Some of us have no talents, smarts, or have a financially stable family like you. Yeah. I know my grammar sucks. I'm starting university in 2 weeks but I'm going to commute by public transportation because I was too stupid to get accepted anywhere else. So... yeah.<br />Don't worry, Hayley, you've already got thousands of people who'll rush to buy your books, you know, once you get there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-59413042794577660642010-08-15T22:37:29.624-04:002010-08-15T22:37:29.624-04:00I responded to you gmail because I wanted to share...I responded to you gmail because I wanted to share some things and don't want all of them private. <br /><br />Life is a journey. Check your e-mail. <br />: )<br /><br />Much love!!<br />AngieAngieanythinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14613089844058146343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-59336480412732976032010-08-15T21:59:01.010-04:002010-08-15T21:59:01.010-04:00Hayley - I understand where you're coming from...Hayley - I understand where you're coming from. I just turned 30 this year, though, and from 10 years down the road I can tell you that everything will turn out just fine. I am happily married to a marvelous man and just had the most beautiful baby boy ever. I'm also a successful attorney who enjoys her career, but is still considering following her original dream and becoming an English teacher after all. My life is not exactly what I pictured when I was 19 going on 20, but that's only because at that point I could not have pictured myself experiencing such pure joy that didn't come from fame or riches or whatever I wanted at that time. Life is a beautiful journey and I know you will find a path that brings you joy and love.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15180385432356769264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-67957852580337973892010-08-15T21:58:37.581-04:002010-08-15T21:58:37.581-04:00Being 25 I'd say it's scary getting older....Being 25 I'd say it's scary getting older. Mostly because you don't feel any different, you just get more responsibilities and feel like you're playing adult.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07154921837587381114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-55142443998072233932010-08-15T21:39:50.347-04:002010-08-15T21:39:50.347-04:00I get this. It's so scary. I'm definitely ...I get this. It's so scary. I'm definitely going to college in order to prolong my childhood. I just keep telling myself that I'm going to try so hard to never be miserable like everyone else, but I'm afraid I'll grow up and won't be able to do anything about it. I've promised myself that I will never be too old to jump into a pool. Everyone over 30 just slips in on the stairs. I'm always going to jump.Cassiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01694224727899485263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-39984293848431361712010-08-15T21:20:05.640-04:002010-08-15T21:20:05.640-04:00Ok, I only read the first 30 or so comments, so so...Ok, I only read the first 30 or so comments, so sorry if I massively repeat what others have said ... But here are my thoughts:<br /><br />1) I turn 25 this year, and am done grad school this week, and I understand your feelings of trepidation. I said the words "I'm turning 25" out loud for the first time the other day, and I actually gasped.<br /><br />2) I am still waiting to feel like an adult, which I definitely don't. I don't know that uncertainty gets replaced by disappointment ... for me, I still feel uncertain, and still feel like a kid who is faking it in the adult world, and I know several adults decades older than me who feel the same way.<br /><br />3) Even with uncertainty, and even with disappointments along the way, you will have endless moments throughout your days and years - big moments and small moments - that will be wonderful and magical and worth it all. You will beat the odds in some ways, and become statistics in other ways. Sometimes uncertainty and the unknown will work in your favour, and sometimes it will work against you. But I really believe that the good moments, and the fun of feeling out your own path and finding your own way, makes life worth it and fun, throughout your whole life! (Or at least that's what I tell myself as I freak out about the next stage in my life, lol...)Sarahalalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038861487042945204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-59553954101055704312010-08-15T19:36:19.272-04:002010-08-15T19:36:19.272-04:00Oh my god, I was JUST thinking about this! I was j...Oh my god, I was JUST thinking about this! I was just thinking about how maybe it's not even really worth getting married if you aren't going to be happy with the person later. Like maybe you should just be in a relationship and that's it. If you find someone you really truly love and you're 50 and haven't married them yet but still love them then maybe then you get married. Cause you're pretty sure it'll stand through anything if it's lasted that long. Maybe you should just live to be happy is what I'm saying. Fuck tradition. It obviously doesn't really work for most people. That's why I HATE Nicholas Sparks and his stupid books. He always takes the easy way out and makes love look so good. He makes a wonderful couple who seem like they would stand the test of time and then kills one of them off before he gets to the bad "real life" stuff. Bastard. <br /><br />Right now I'm just making enough money to pay off the loan I got for study abroad. Cause that made me realise that, even though something seems impossible and ridiculous like spending 4 months in another country when you don't really have the money to cover it, you should still do it if you want to. Cause when are you ever going to get a chance like that? I've made plans, however elaborate they may seem, and I'm going to stick to them. I just posted about those crazy plans actually. A life of crime may or may not (but kind of is) involved. ; )The Vagabondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12922417131840844806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-51936600930370507362010-08-15T19:35:23.530-04:002010-08-15T19:35:23.530-04:00I wrote a really, overly long comment to this blog...I wrote a really, overly long comment to this blog post, and then my work computer crashed - le sigh.<br /><br />But what I will say, with certainty as an almost 25 year old, that you aren't looking at this wrong, and are brimming with more maturity and grace than I had at 19. If anything, going on 25 is not much different to going on at 20, but instead on decisions about majors, grad school, or if I like my boyfriend, it has turned into potential marriage, having babies, getting puppies, saving to buy a house, getting promotions, and I still feel like it is a completely weird, and surreal experience that nothing in my life has prepared me for.<br /><br />Trust me 25 is much, much harder!!<br /><br />So in essence you do get it, as much as I think anyone can get it. Even my married friends, my single friends, the ones that are still living at home, or the one that has 3 babies under 3, feel exactly the same!! <br /><br />But on a happy note, my early 20s have so far been the best. You are adult enough to make the big choices, but still young enough that it is okay if you screw up, or make no choice at all! You can experiment, and live, and have fun without the complete and utter responsibility of the fact you are old enough for it to matter ^.^ <br /><br />When you are 24 going on 25 you can start worrying about that fact!Ms Rodgershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14174912262331214211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-50103636929409093162010-08-15T19:25:53.298-04:002010-08-15T19:25:53.298-04:0034 years old here...and it's a strange place. ...34 years old here...and it's a strange place. John Green did a really good job of capturing some of the feeling in that recent post where he visited his old school. The thing is...it just happens, time. And age. And one minute you are having the best night of your life on your 20th birthday (true story) and the next you are 34. Now, some feelings you have will change gradually and some won't, but you never fully really FEEL whatever age you are. You remember the exact same feelings you had 15 years ago with your friends. It's the ultimate mindfuck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-74929887855655011242010-08-15T19:15:01.876-04:002010-08-15T19:15:01.876-04:00Screw the real world, it's our world, and it i...Screw the real world, it's our world, and it is what we make it.<br /><br />Twenty is freaking scary, but then life goes on the way it did, and you do feel different, but it's the same different to experience when you're no longer a middle-schooler and suddenly nearing high school graduation. Your perception has just shifted, and usually shifted for the better. You see everything in more simple terms, everything is as dramatic. Yes it's more complicated in terms of responsibilities, but that's gradual. Stuff happens, life goes on.Bre Melvinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02458840982410175416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-45747056231279614472010-08-15T19:01:58.905-04:002010-08-15T19:01:58.905-04:00I am only a couple years older than you, but I hav...I am only a couple years older than you, but I have to say I disagree. <br /><br />Life is a series of choices. Which I am sure everyone has heard a gagillion times before, and now you are rolling your eyes and going "dear lord, not that old thing again", but hear me out. <br /><br />2 years ago on august 25, a 15 year old very close to my heart decided that he couldn't handle the possibility of disappointment and sadness, that there was nothing, and that he was too scared. I think about him every day, and because of him I am completely changed. I had the same fears and thoughts that you do, but I decided that there had to be more. If you have grand expectations of life, with your high heels, chocolate fountains, fancy names and mismatched silverware, don't give them up. Things may not turn out exactly like planned, but ignore the stats. Believe it will happen. Always make sure you have things to look forward too, but don't wish time away. Don't think of college as just something you have to do in order to get a job. Experience it. Savour it. Once its gone, savour the next step. If you aren't ready to move on, don't. <br /><br />Be happy. Don't dwell on the POSSIBILITY of disappointment and sadness and stretch marks. Roll with the punches. Work your Ass off. Life isnt easy. Its damn hard. But that is half the fun. Don't give up on things because "apparently it's really, really unlikely that you'll make a living off being occasionally clever. And apparently you're going to screw up your kids no matter how hard you try, and they'll never be exactly what you want them to, and apparently a whole lot of people lie and steal and have affairs and apparently your body doesn't stay hot forever". Just because something is unlikely, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. The odds may not be in your favour, but at least there are odds. Don't listen to the pesimists. Not everybody screws up their kids. Not everybody lies and cheats. <br /><br />Make the choice to be the exception. And never give up. Roll with the punches, change plans, but never give up<br /><br />Do it for that boy who is forever 15bookmouse99https://www.blogger.com/profile/10751874062233001585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-54625792500518792032010-08-15T18:33:44.441-04:002010-08-15T18:33:44.441-04:00Have you ever seen the short film Harvie Krumpet?I...Have you ever seen the short film Harvie Krumpet?It really puts things in perspective. Don't worry, Hayley, you're so brilliant that you'll be a published novelist in no time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-48028807098326136582010-08-15T18:12:03.329-04:002010-08-15T18:12:03.329-04:00I'm only 16, but I worry about the same exact ...I'm only 16, but I worry about the same exact thing. I'm also worried that I'm not "living it up" as much as I should. Apparently, these years are the ones we are going to be looking back at longingly, and I'm actually pretty happy with life right now, I just hope I'm not wasting away my time right now.Courtneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15058929921236166590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-91166309078934924932010-08-15T17:46:45.035-04:002010-08-15T17:46:45.035-04:00Ok, I just have to say, TonksftMemories, I am tota...Ok, I just have to say, TonksftMemories, I am totally stealing that quote and adding it to my facebook page. :)<br /><br />And Hayley, I am only 16, but I do believe that you have a lot less to worry about than many other people your age. You've already gotten over the high school-college transition, you're in a great university, you're talented in your area of study, you seem to have great relationships with your family, friends, and boyfriend.<br /><br />And just the fact that you are worrying about this is a good sign, I think. I feel like some people would think "Oh, I'm only 19, not EVEN 20, I've got so much time to figure this all out," which is true, but you already have the tools to do so, and the support of not only your IRL family, but also all us blog readers. :)bassrocks9https://www.blogger.com/profile/06648502669299325332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-44581992548926493542010-08-15T17:40:31.066-04:002010-08-15T17:40:31.066-04:0024 (soon to be 25) year old reader here - and a lo...24 (soon to be 25) year old reader here - and a lot of times I feel exactly as you described turning 20. I am dreading my up and coming birthday! You think 20 is bad...<br /><br />It didn't help with my family home for the last couple of weeks (they usually live in Hong Kong while I am in New Zealand). Out of the blue my mother says "so what are your plans? Do you have *pause* goals?"<br /><br />I wanted to strangle her. <br /><br />It's like geez Mum, I only just finished grad school with a Masters a year and a half ago - right in the middle of the recession. Didn't get a job based anything around a potential career till 6 months ago, and it still isn't really what I wish I could be doing (but beggars can't be choosers). Living with my boyfriend - he is 28 and doing his PhD and is about as ready to grow up as an 18 year old, and all around me my friends are getting engaged, married, having babies, buying houses, getting puppies, getting promotions.<br /><br />I don't feel ready for any of that stuff most of the time, even though I really want most of it, most of the time. I don't feel like I have done anything to be prepared and that my whole life has suddenly sneaked up on me! And I look around me at my friends and think, how are THEY prepared??<br /><br />But really, they aren't.<br /><br />I look at some of the girls I went to school with, one now with her 3rd kid under 3 (bajezus). A couple working at Show Girls as strippers. Some living at home still with their parents. Another has just broken her engagement with her long term boyfriend and is wallowing in the belief she will now only ever live with cats. <br /><br />And I think we all feel the same deep down, no matter what life has thrown at us. That makes me feel better.<br /><br />So no, wonderful and mature Hayley. You are not looking at it wrong, and you do get it, as much as those older than you get it. As much as I get it anyway!! It is totally okay, and it will stay okay for a long while! At least I hope so. <br /><br /><3 (sorry for the long comment!)Ms Rodgershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14174912262331214211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-74774645062636354172010-08-15T17:14:37.990-04:002010-08-15T17:14:37.990-04:00Hayley, once again you are living my life. I'm...Hayley, once again you are living my life. I'm turning 20 soon too. I'm going to be living in my own apartment at school, which is another big change (no more dorms, a real apartment like a grown up). I had to buy like toilet cleaner and stuff, like a real grown up. This whole growing up thing sure is weird. Shopping for stuff for my apartment I just kept thinking, "This is the rest of my life. Shopping for toilet cleaner."Piphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04233296542735227215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-23621122670651419992010-08-15T16:53:24.571-04:002010-08-15T16:53:24.571-04:00reading this post was like having deja vu. i feel ...reading this post was like having deja vu. i feel much the same way! even the way you pictured each stage of your life is eerily similar to the way i do. <br /><br />i'm 21 and although i'd consider myself a happy-go-lucky optimistic kind of person, it terrifies me to think that my life may not be all that i want it to be. <br /><br />today i visited my dying grandpa in the hospital, and the way he looks at my grandma like there is no one else in the room is enough to give me hope. my grandma told me that she had sat in the dark last night and thought about their entire life together, and despite ups and downs she was happy. if i can get to her age and feel the same, then i won't be disappointed :)<br /><br />xx hollyhollyhttp://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=676315502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2937874428494399399.post-90817126793249454842010-08-15T16:45:32.482-04:002010-08-15T16:45:32.482-04:00This is why I love your blog so much. First of all...This is why I love your blog so much. First of all, I feel like we're experiencing things at weirdly similar times. I'll be twenty in December, about to be a sophomore, dating someone seriously (for the first time), even started eating healthy/lost some weight this summer. And I'm also definitely having the same, scary, thoughts. It's so nice for me to be able to come to your blog and read the thoughts I'm having put so much more eloquently than I could ever express them. <br />So thank you! And here's hoping Real Life isn't quite as depressing as it sometimes sounds.Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10908760744656634108noreply@blogger.com